Violeta, 45

Friday, July 22, 2016

Today marks five years since Jerry left the material world. This evening, my son Jovian and I will probably go to Scandia because his father and he used to have fun times there together. I sense Jerry is saying to me now, “I don’t want your grief anymore.” So rather than grief on this anniversary day, it seems appropriate that my story is a celebration.  Violetta

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Nobu walks by the three of us sitting, chatting, in the summer shade of a tree, and stops to embrace Violeta whom he hasn’t seen for some time. It is a long hug, both of them leaning into one another like the old friends they are. Then Nobu walks away, turns and says,

It was Natalie Wood in that movie, wasn’t it, in ‘Splendour in the Grass’?

Violeta begins to weep. What did he just say, she asks me? Did he just say ‘Splendour in the Grass’? Oh my goodness. How did he, how could he, know that? That means so much to me, you have no idea. I’ve watched that movie over 50 times. It has such significance for me since I lost Jerry.

Violeta shares more deeply about her connection to the movie ‘Splendour in the Grass’ and how it has brought solace to her over the years since Jerry’s death. It has been five years, she tells me. There is a poem by the same name in the movie, she says, and I keep returning to it.

(So here I am afterward, writing and google searching and of course I find the movie and the poem, and it suddenly comes clear to me, how this moment in this movie and these words and Violeta and Nobu converged into something meaningful.)

Back to our park encounter, and Violeta is apologizing for her tears, and I assure her there is no need, that her tears are beautiful and appropriate.

She says more…we were coming here today, just walking through the park toward all of you, and suddenly there were two dragonflies, hovering and swooping all around us. Jerry and I both loved dragonflies, they were our thing. When I see one it’s like he’s saying ‘Hello.’Oh my, and now this, Nobu’s words, I can’t believe the timing of all of this. And I don’t believe in coincidence, she says, I believe in synchronicity.

It is clear how Violeta still grieves for Jerry, still in love with the great love of her life, still missing him, still raw with the memories, and these words of Wordsworth have touched the ache inside her;

Though nothing can bring back the hour
of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind.

But how did Nobu know to say the words he said to Violeta? How could he possibly know what ‘Splendour in the Grass’ means to her? Nobu means ‘Spirit Faith’, so perhaps there is a connection somehow? I don’t know…I do wonder at how things align, converge. I consider the possibility that maybe we need only to slow down to see how the Creator moves earth and stars and dragonflies to show us his love.

Violeta, I believe God looks at you and all he sees is splendour. Thank you for allowing me the privilege of witnessing these happenings with you. May there be a deep and abiding peace in remembering all the best of Jerry today.

Story and photograph by Lesley-Anne Evans